Sitting

As the title of this post suggests, Stella is sitting! ...albeit not for long periods of time before a slow topple - left, right or backwards - but she is sitting on her own :) 

All dressed in her party gear (for Pete's 40th), we went down to Danger Beach for Geoff to have a swim.... we had a wonderful time with her sitting on a towel on the sand! :)

I've been pondering our labour and birth experience quite a bit this week & I am really pleased to find that I I no longer find myself dwelling on & feeling traumatised by the events leading up to Stella's breathing her first air. Time really does heal. The more I get to know this amazing little person, the more I really am grateful that she is here - however she was to arrive! I read a bit about 're-birthing' : the healing of a traumatic birth experience from the baby's side & from what I've read, I don't think (in my un-educated - only intuitive experience) that her birth was something that traumatised her - She was so amazingly 'solid' throughout the whole experience. I just love that her heart beat remained even & that she was born so healthy and well. She continues to display immense stability in the way she handles situations.

Nobody can ever take the experience - the moment of seeing her for the first time: BORN! - away from us! I've re-lived it so many times in my mind & it really is one of the happiest sparkling lights in my collection of major life experiences.

All the time that we are able to spend with her - watching her every development - is so appreciated as special! Stella already has such a special relationship with her daddy...

...and I am just mad about my absolutely beautiful little girl! Everything - even crying - is loved!!!! I knew I would feel many of the feelings my mother must have felt as a mother of a little baby: Stella and myself are both first-born which really allows me to appreciate and understand the undivided 'alone' time that she spent with me as a new mom, with no other children to care for at that time. I was too little to remember my brother not being in my life, but I remember my sister coming home from the hospital with my mom; I remember feeling like all mom's time was spent on my sister...and I remember that I enjoyed 'being helpful' to my mom with the 'new baby' (I even remember coming up with some ridiculous names for her!!)

I cannot begin to describe how happy I am... how in love with my family I am.

Birth Story

My 'hope' from the end of my last post came true:
On typing my last post, I had already gone into labour without realising it.

Stella (probably Amelia) Ross was born via c-section at 1.15pm on Friday the 9th September...she was born at 56cm (22 inches) long and weighed in at 4.4kg (9.7lb!!)

In Labour

 

20 hours after contractions being 5mins apart, 30seconds long and being 1cm dilated on Thursday the 8th September....to having contractions flowing relentlessly from one to the other with no break & no progress from 6cm for hours, we decided to go to the bed with the lights.  It turned out that Stella had turned posterior & her head got immovably stuck so she couldn't put any pressure on my cervix for it to dilate further. The labour experience was long and it became quite traumatic for myself as well as for Geoff, but she is so unbelievably perfect that I wouldn't take one second of it back! She didn't get stressed and her heartbeat was steady all through -- Sandy has been amazing: she showed me the graph of my labour, and we talked through things, so I finally feel that I stuck it out as long as I could and that Stella would not have arrived the way we hoped - but she arrived safely: and that is what matters most.

Stella's moment of birth

I had an allergic skin reaction to the plasters from the epidural as well as the medical bed protector thingies so my back and the tops of my legs were torturously blistered and itchy. I got home on Sunday the 11th. I can hardly believe that it is 2 weeks and a day later: I am feeling a lot more recovered, but quite tired & still trying to manage my time between feeding, burping, changing and settling our little girl to sleep.

Stella & I - Just after birth

Geoff has been fantastic. His bottomless patience & calmness has been so valuable to us - and to my sanity. He has only changed 1 nappy so far, but is very eager to help out with settling & we love our bath times!!

Geoff and Stella - Day 1

I am LOVING breastfeeding my precious precious child who we waited so long to fall pregnant with & finally meet!

Stella - Day 2

Stella: 2 weeks old :)

The following account is what I wrote whilst in the hospital:

• 12pm - MW appointment - cervix soft, 1cm dilated on the outer
• 2pm - crampy feeling - on & off but persistent
• 3.30pm - lie down and notice cramps have a pattern!
• 5.30pm start timing cramps 5mins apart, 30 seconds long = contractions
• 7.30pm - contact MW...keep monitoring
• 11pm - MW arrives - exam - 4cm dilated, contractions 4 mins apart, 45 seconds long
• 1.30am - by now contractions are very sore - 2-3mins apart, 1min long, go to hospital - monitoring of contractions & baby's heart rate
• 3am - in the bath
• 5am - Internal exam - still 4cm dilated
• 6.30am - Contractions making me cry. Request pain relief. Bed & monitoring.
• 8am - 6cm dilated. Start losing it - sleep deprived - contractions flow one into another - pins and needles from hyperventilation mean I can't feel my hands, neck or face. Tons of pressure - labour standing, then in the bath again...relentless agony
• 9.30 am - feeling that I can't go on. Request epidural. Desperately suck gas for some relief till epidural kicks in -
• 10.15am - epidural kicks in. 2 blank spots so could still felt contractions in those spots. Drifted off a little. Mom came in to support Geoff and I.
• 12pm - exam says I am still 6 cm dilated. No point in continuing.
• 12.45pm - prepped & wheeled into theatre
• 1.15pm - Stella is born - 4.4kg - 56cm long

She maintained a good, solid heartrate throughout labour. Had turned posterior during labour and had got her head stuck at a strange angle & was unable to free it so I would have been unable to complete birthing her 'naturally'

31 Weeks

Our little girl seems to have had another growth spurt in the last few days! ...it felt by last Thursday's midwife appointment like nothing much at all had changed in four weeks, and suddenly between now and then I look in the mirror to be HUGE! :)

We got some good news at the appointment with our midwife (Sandy): It seems that our little monkey has turned head-down! I am so happy - the closer we can get to all the elements being in place for a natural birth, the better. Her movements are different - Sandy said that it is most likely due to the change of her position as well as the fact that I have loads of amniotic fluid (a good thing) - she's not filling up all the space yet -- we have a LOT of growing to do in the next 9 weeks. The movement thing is a little worrying because although I feel her quite regularly, the feeling is quite different & seems to be less than before. It could be my imagination.

We went on a hospital tour on Wednesday last week & were pretty impressed with the natural birthing rooms. There are four, of which 2 have baths in them... Lets hope its not too much of a busy time in the hospital & we get one of the bath rooms (x-fingers!!).  I'm so tempted by a home water birth, but with the move, it will be so hard to predict how I will feel about the new house... I am concerned about temperature control etc and I also just can't think of having to move venue mid-labour. I keep reminding myself that it will be best to just be in the hospital & really trust that so long as Geoff and Sandy are there - it doesn't really matter where things end up happening.

I've been pretty preoccupied with what its going to be like in the new house... I found some beautiful wall stickers, but now I can't remember if the walls are smoothed or whether they are roughly bagged & painted...... I will have to wait to see. I think we will ask for the cot offered to us by mom & dad - the one I slept in as a baby... Dad has just restored it: its really beautiful - a metal one with brass tops.

Sometimes I feel so overwhelmed that I am so blessed & happy that I need to pinch myself to believe that its all real. All my dreams (most of which I never even knew I had) are coming true & its hard not to get overwhelmed. I really have to guard against worrying that it could all be taken away from me, because that sends my mind into spirals that are hard to get out of. I really have to trust that all will be well & that our little family will just grow in happiness & togetherness.

I am so thankful for all we have been given - I am especially thankful for Geoff: my love. I always hoped, but never imagined that it was possible to share such a deep and meaningful love. He constantly surprises me with his kind heart - it is more pure than can be measured - there are billions of little ways he constantly considers me & shows me the depth of his love. I cannot quantify the love I have for him - he moves me. After almost 7 years, I still adore every little thing about him.

I am so looking forward to meeting our love-child. The culmination of all the wonderful things that have already happened & new chapter of our relationship, our love, our understanding of one another & of this life as a human being.



Baby Center Says:

How your baby's growing:
This week, your baby measures over 16 inches long. She weighs about 3.3 pounds / 1.4kg and is heading into a growth spurt. She can turn her head from side to side, and her arms, legs, and body are beginning to plump out as needed fat accumulates underneath her skin. She's probably moving a lot, too, so you may have trouble sleeping because your baby's kicks and somersaults keep you up. Take comfort: All this moving is a sign that your baby is active and healthy.

How your life's changing:
Have you noticed the muscles in your uterus tightening now and then? Many women feel these random contractions — called Braxton Hicks contractions — in the second half of pregnancy. Often lasting about 30 seconds, they're irregular, and at this point, they should be infrequent and painless.