The 'early' in the title is actually referring to the time. It is now 4.25am as I start typing and I've been up for the last couple of hours trying to sort out gall bladder pain. At first I just made a mild-water-bottle & some lemon water...tried to lie down but it is too sore & I need to sit up to get everything moving in a digestible direction. My gran, grandpa, aunt and dad (the Purcocks side) have all had theirs out.. I'm still hanging in there, but its not easy. I've managed to reduce the occurrences of this to once every couple of months. In this case, its giving me time to reflect on some things.
I just read through my friend
Sarai's blog...and her experience of giving birth to her 2nd son, Jeremy. There is so much talk about women being forced into c-section by doctors & her experience seems to have been one of those. The lack of support & total lack of general kindness towards her is quite shocking. If we hadn't attended our Antenatal course with Mama Bamba this last weekend I think her story would have freaked me out.
As it is though, I am feeling quite satisfied at this point with the 'team' we have put together for Stella's arrival into the world. We have our midwife, Sandy, who everybody raves about...I met a girl at T'Neal's 28th birthday this week who had Sandy as her midwife & she said that she'd had a wonderful natural birth experience. We have gentle and lovely Dr.Caro Nel in case of any complications: I feel that she will be gentle with me in the case that something goes wrong & we are in need of a c-section... And then we have each other - Geoff and myself: I feel so happy and blessed knowing that he will support me through this wonderful experience for us both. I feel confident that 'our team' will fight for sticking to our 'birth plan' and that we will not be put in a position to be disrespected in any way by hospital staff.
I met somebody else last night who raved about her 2 birth experiences - her second daughter was born within a half hour. What I loved most about everything she said was that her midwife allowed her husband to take the first daughter out -- she took the second one out. I love this because I would love for Geoff to be the one to take our little one out if he is in position to do so. I have not seen Sandy yet to ask her so it is lovely to know that someone I've met has had that experience. :)
In my ramblings around the internet I also found something so beautiful:
Actress
Tina Fey's prayer for her child:
“First, Lord: No tattoos. May neither Chinese symbol for truth nor Winnie-the-Pooh holding the FSU logo stain her tender haunches.
May she be Beautiful but not Damaged, for it’s the Damage that draws the creepy soccer coach’s eye, not the Beauty.
When the Crystal Meth is offered, may she remember the parents who cut her grapes in half And stick with Beer.
Guide her, protect her when crossing the street, stepping onto boats, swimming in the ocean, swimming in pools, walking near pools, standing on the subway platform, crossing 86th Street, stepping off of boats, using mall restrooms, getting on and off escalators, driving on country roads while arguing, leaning on large windows, walking in parking lots, riding Ferris wheels, roller-coasters, log flumes, or anything called “Hell Drop,” “Tower of Torture,” or “The Death Spiral Rock ‘N Zero G Roll featuring Aerosmith,” and standing on any kind of balcony ever, anywhere, at any age.
Lead her away from Acting but not all the way to Finance. Something where she can make her own hours but still feel intellectually fulfilled and get outside sometimes And not have to wear high heels. What would that be, Lord? Architecture? Midwifery? Golf course design? I’m asking You, because if I knew, I’d be doing it, Youdammit.
May she play the Drums to the fiery rhythm of her Own Heart with the sinewy strength of her Own Arms, so she need Not Lie With Drummers.
Grant her a Rough Patch from twelve to seventeen.Let her draw horses and be interested in Barbies for much too long, For childhood is short – a Tiger Flower blooming Magenta for one day – And adulthood is long and dry-humping in cars will wait.
O Lord, break the Internet forever, that she may be spared the misspelled invective of her peers And the online marketing campaign for Rape Hostel V: Girls Just Wanna Get Stabbed.
And when she one day turns on me and calls me a Bitch in front of Hollister, Give me the strength, Lord, to yank her directly into a cab in front of her friends, For I will not have that Shit. I will not have it.
And should she choose to be a Mother one day, be my eyes, Lord, that I may see her, lying on a blanket on the floor at 4:50 A.M., all-at-once exhausted, bored, and in love with the little creature whose poop is leaking up its back. “My mother did this for me once,” she will realize as she cleans feces off her baby’s neck. “My mother did this for me.” And the delayed gratitude will wash over her as it does each generation and she will make a Mental Note to call me. And she will forget. But I’ll know, because I peeped it with Your God eyes.
Amen.”
I've been extremely emotional over the last few months & have been suffering quite badly with SPD: pelvic girdle pain. My pelvis is skew & my chiropractor says that it is most likely from the emotional stress that I have been under for the last 2 months. I've had 2 appointments this week & am feeling a little better now. (She probably loosened things to the extent that my organs can work properly again and hence the gall bladder pain!)
My mom and dad came to visit this week & mom helped me sort through all the things we've acquired for our little one from our trip...gifts & hand-me-downs. There is hardly a thing I still need -- all the nice smelling creams & powders, a baby monitor (with temperature gauge) and a cot.. and otherwise, most other things seem to have sorted themselves out! I really feel blessed because I have not had the inclination to do shopping for time, energy and space reasons. Sounds like a shuttle mission :)
I am about a 1/4 through making a rainbow colour, bamboo & cotton blanket for her to snuggle up with & love as her own. It is strange to be making something for our child who will be arriving so soon into this world where we can hold her and love her.
We'll be 25 weeks on Monday. 15 weeks to go!
My main thought is that I can hardly wait to meet our daughter. All this talk of '
baby stuff' - thinking about where to put it... wondering if my milk will come in well... pain, acid reflux and emotional stress: I know that it will be worth it when we hold her in those first days. I feel her moving & I have an idea of what it may be like to love her. How my heart will open up to envelope her so completely. I know this because of the wonder I feel at how my heart has reacted & expanded in knowing and loving Geoff. It is beyond description. Awesome: I am in total awe.
This makes being human worth it.
