7 Weeks

Stella is 7 weeks old already & it feels as if the time has simply flown... She is an absolute joy & Geoff and I are smitten! We're totally fascinated by every new development & it is a privilege to experience this life unfolding - a little bud just starting to open & reveal its beauty...

Stella started smiling 'real' smiles in her 5th week. She responds with smiles to us speaking to her close-up... and I discovered that if I zoom my finger  (making 'zooming' sounds) in and touch her nose (making an exploding sound) repeatedly, she absolutely loves it. I read in the Baby Sense book that little ones of this age enjoy anticipation, so we're playing lots of anticipation games with her.

Stella takes her dummy, but it sometimes takes a bit of convincing her! Sometimes she puts her lips together so tightly... or she pushes her tongue out so that the dummy can't go in - how does she know to do that?! When she's got it but doesn't want it any more she can shoot it out of her mouth quite far, so the dummy clip T'Neal made her is essential to keep it off the floor / un-lost!. It's been a great (but not essential) tool to ease her into sleep. Amazing how little ones fight sleep!!

At the 6 week checkup, the pediatrician said that she weighed 5.25kg and had grown a cm. Great news as we're clearly doing well on the breast milk! :)

Geoff is amazing with Stella.. He gives her massages in the morning before work (he has to drag himself out of the house - he says he'd much rather stay here with us!) & loves to play with her when he gets home... I feel like a very lucky mommy to have such a supportive daddy... He's even offering to change nappies now(!) ...although I've got to laugh as he sometimes gets the vest fastened OVER the pants - superman style!!

Here is a video that Geoff put together one morning:

And here are a few recent pictures:

with Mom

with Dad

Snooze time in her pretty outfit from Robyn

♥

The princess' bed :)

1 month

Stella is 1 month old today! The time seems to have flown & gone really slowly all at once. There have been challenges, but generally, she is the most wonderful little creature & quite easy as far as other mom's stories I've heard! We have found little tricks to help Stella settle (like putting her carry cot at an angle so that it's not so flat)... and we are managing to get a reasonable amount of sleep, all things considered!

Sometimes we are rewarded with a dazzling smile, but she's not smiling in direct response to anything we do yet - she just smiles and makes adorable noises to let us know she is happy and content :)

Here is a photographic update from the last few weeks:

Stella's Nanny is a pro baby-washer!

First trip to the beach [1 week old]

Breastfeeding is going really well! :)

Stella loves being carried in the wrap! [2 weeks old]

First experience of sun on her little bum!! :) [3.5 weeks old]

Stella & Daddy's hands

Stella bathing with Dad [4 weeks old]

Our happy little munchkin! 

Stella got held, kissed and butterfly kissed by a cherub:
the most beautiful 4-year old boy in the world, Fletcher Lowe

Stella at the beach in her jersey -
knitted by Great Grandmother Stella & finished by Aunt Marland

Birth Story

My 'hope' from the end of my last post came true:
On typing my last post, I had already gone into labour without realising it.

Stella (probably Amelia) Ross was born via c-section at 1.15pm on Friday the 9th September...she was born at 56cm (22 inches) long and weighed in at 4.4kg (9.7lb!!)

In Labour

 

20 hours after contractions being 5mins apart, 30seconds long and being 1cm dilated on Thursday the 8th September....to having contractions flowing relentlessly from one to the other with no break & no progress from 6cm for hours, we decided to go to the bed with the lights.  It turned out that Stella had turned posterior & her head got immovably stuck so she couldn't put any pressure on my cervix for it to dilate further. The labour experience was long and it became quite traumatic for myself as well as for Geoff, but she is so unbelievably perfect that I wouldn't take one second of it back! She didn't get stressed and her heartbeat was steady all through -- Sandy has been amazing: she showed me the graph of my labour, and we talked through things, so I finally feel that I stuck it out as long as I could and that Stella would not have arrived the way we hoped - but she arrived safely: and that is what matters most.

Stella's moment of birth

I had an allergic skin reaction to the plasters from the epidural as well as the medical bed protector thingies so my back and the tops of my legs were torturously blistered and itchy. I got home on Sunday the 11th. I can hardly believe that it is 2 weeks and a day later: I am feeling a lot more recovered, but quite tired & still trying to manage my time between feeding, burping, changing and settling our little girl to sleep.

Stella & I - Just after birth

Geoff has been fantastic. His bottomless patience & calmness has been so valuable to us - and to my sanity. He has only changed 1 nappy so far, but is very eager to help out with settling & we love our bath times!!

Geoff and Stella - Day 1

I am LOVING breastfeeding my precious precious child who we waited so long to fall pregnant with & finally meet!

Stella - Day 2

Stella: 2 weeks old :)

The following account is what I wrote whilst in the hospital:

• 12pm - MW appointment - cervix soft, 1cm dilated on the outer
• 2pm - crampy feeling - on & off but persistent
• 3.30pm - lie down and notice cramps have a pattern!
• 5.30pm start timing cramps 5mins apart, 30 seconds long = contractions
• 7.30pm - contact MW...keep monitoring
• 11pm - MW arrives - exam - 4cm dilated, contractions 4 mins apart, 45 seconds long
• 1.30am - by now contractions are very sore - 2-3mins apart, 1min long, go to hospital - monitoring of contractions & baby's heart rate
• 3am - in the bath
• 5am - Internal exam - still 4cm dilated
• 6.30am - Contractions making me cry. Request pain relief. Bed & monitoring.
• 8am - 6cm dilated. Start losing it - sleep deprived - contractions flow one into another - pins and needles from hyperventilation mean I can't feel my hands, neck or face. Tons of pressure - labour standing, then in the bath again...relentless agony
• 9.30 am - feeling that I can't go on. Request epidural. Desperately suck gas for some relief till epidural kicks in -
• 10.15am - epidural kicks in. 2 blank spots so could still felt contractions in those spots. Drifted off a little. Mom came in to support Geoff and I.
• 12pm - exam says I am still 6 cm dilated. No point in continuing.
• 12.45pm - prepped & wheeled into theatre
• 1.15pm - Stella is born - 4.4kg - 56cm long

She maintained a good, solid heartrate throughout labour. Had turned posterior during labour and had got her head stuck at a strange angle & was unable to free it so I would have been unable to complete birthing her 'naturally'

41weeks, 5days

It does feel like the waiting has taken forever. I am physically and emotionally exausted by the constant delay in our baby girl's birth. We so hoped that labour would kick in naturally, and I have been having contractions which are now spaced 10 - 15 mins apart and getting more painful, but delaying induction past today -- for another 24 or 48 hours will drive me crazy as I feel as though I have already been bargaining with my sanity for the past 3 weeks. I do not want to put any risk on her life by delaying things further than being 2 weeks 'overdue'.

The arguement to wait is strong & I feel as though I am giving in or being weak in this, but, as Sandy says, sometimes, by delaying things, it is the baby's way to let us know that they are not able to come out as we intend them to. She could still be too big. Both Geoff and I were induced at our births and delivered 'naturally' by our mothers. I try and convince myself that there is not shame in helping things along.  There is no shame. Are we being too hasty? We cannot know, so we trust Sandy, who we chose to trust with my and our daughters lives - she has been doing this for 25 years and she has seen things go very right as well as very wrong.

I found an article here which states that "there is no evidence to suggest that labour induced with prostaglandin [gel] is any more painful than labour that has started naturally" which gives me a lot of hope that things will progress and unfold at their own pace. My cervix is already soft & has shortened considerably...


I still hold hope that things will kick off & pick up considerably in the next 6 hours... until then, I am trying to relax and focus on being happy about meeting our daughter - hopefully tomorrow x

Reasons To Be Born

Dear Stella

I realise that you are probably getting a bit cramped inside my stomach at this point, and your father recons you're so happy on all the vitamins and healthy food etc I've been feeding us for the past 41 weeks... that you're probably so happy in there that you just don't want to come out (you know there's no cake for a few years once you're born!!)... so I wanted to put down some reasons for you of why the world will be a great place to live in & why I would like you to please come and join us on the outside:

• Your dad and I really want to hold you and hug you and feel your skin against ours!
  
• I have been looking forward to kissing your feet since I first felt them kicking me from the inside, 22 weeks ago....please don't make me wait too much longer!
  
• Your dad has a whole collection of amazing music that he wants to share with you - that he has already been playing for you while you're all snug inside - We trust you've been enjoying it already.
  
• There are many creatures beyond dreams that you will be able to discover in this world: there are ones that fly... swim... run fast... ones that look funny / do funny things / make funny noises... the list is endless: you will be able to discover them all!
  
• There are beautiful things that grow on the earth that are rooted into soil called 'plants'. Some grow big - some stay small... some you can eat and others are so pretty to look at! Some are just plain weird! You will probably never see every one of them in your whole life! There are always new ones to discover.
  
• There is a great mass of water - better than amniotic fluid - which stretches wide and deep across where land is not exposed. This is called The Sea or The Ocean. It has tides which are ruled by the moon and the edges of the water, the beaches, experience amazing things called waves which you will be able to swim in and even surf if you want to one day. Your dad is a great wave surfer and he will take you into the sea and teach you all he knows about how it works.
  
• There are two phases of every day: a dark one and a light one. The dark one is called 'night' and is peaceful and calm and has a strange beauty that you will learn to appreciate - if you look up into the sky at night you will see a big ball of lovely light in the night sky. This is the 'moon' which circles the earth. You will also see billions of things called 'stars' which twinkle. You can see patterns in the stars.. some of them have names! Your name means 'a star' because we think you will be the most beautiful, shining little being who will bring us endless joy with the light of your life-glow.
  
  The light phase is called 'day' and that is when most things are awake. Day is full of the most beautiful colours you could ever imagine! There are endless combinations of colours and you will be free to combine them however you choose!
  
• You have a wonderful family who can't wait to meet you. Your Gran is a wonderful, gentle person who you will see often as she lives in Cape Town. Your nanny and grandpa are visiting here in Cape Town already for your birth & they are ready to spoil you with love & kisses for as long as you will know them. They are beyond wonderful. You also have a great grandmother who you will call 'Gog' - she is a bit crazy, but she can't wait to meet you and hold you! (her perfume is very strong and she has a very strange face, but she has good intentions and has led an amazing life). You have 4 cousins and a fifth on the way - aunties and uncles... and then there are SO many friends who also can't wait for your arrival so that they can start getting to know you.
  
• There are other cycles in the world called 'seasons'. There are four main ones: you will get to know the cold one, the hot one & the shorter seasons that go in between. They are all wonderful for different reasons - some plants grow only in one season - some birds only like hot seasons so they fly across the world to keep warm when it starts getting cold.
  
• The whole world is very big and may seem quite scary. There are different parts and regions to the world with people who may seem strange - speak various languages that you will probably not have time in your life to learn - believe in things that are not important to you - some who believe things that may become important to you. The good news is that we will try and give you every opportunity to get to explore these things and decide for yourself. We want to show you as much of the world as we can, and through your experiences, we will see things again, new and fresh, through your eyes experiencing them for the first time.... just as every little thing you learn will be a new realisation, we will re-realise with you & our joy of life & appreciation for 'simple' things will be mirrored from your brand new experience of them.
  
• There will be times when you will be sad, angry or not feel as though you wish to find out what's around the corner. The truth about life on this planet is that things take time and if you allow them time, everything works out in the most perfect way. It is learning to let things unfold naturally that is one of the biggest lessons you will most likely constantly have to remind yourself of.
  
• The 'meaning' of life is different for each person. For me, it is to strive to be the best person that I can be - I have been given the skills to gain knowledge & understating of situations in order to make the best of them. It is not always easy, but I know that I am trying my best to be conscious in decisions & giving the highest value to every moment, because each moment really is precious.
  

I will add reasons as I think of them.... but in short, life is an adventure. There is so much to enjoy - to explore - to learn. There are endless ways to grow. You may want to conquer mental, emotional or physical persuits.. your whole life lies before you - a blank canvas with every colour & creative option available for you to carve your way, weave your life into a tapestry of your choosing.

Please come and meet us soon. I love you. We love you.

40 Weeks

Well, we're finally at 40 weeks (actually moved past and swiftly onto almost 41 weeks) and I am feeling that our little girl must come now. I am not sleeping well - I have had strange headaches, dreams & other strange feelings in my body...but mostly I feel as though my optimistic state of mind may just deteriorate if she doesn't come soon!!!!

Aline came over to press some pressure points for me for the second time this morning. I can understand that this is a "waiting game"...and it's not a fun and it's certainly NOT A GAME! It is very frustrating. But as Aline says - perhaps this is my lesson in letting my daughter do things in her own time. After all: I do demand that others allow me my own time in which to do things.

Being at this point - which is a point beyond which I thought we would be - I feel ready to move to the next phase of our lives. We have known since 21 December 2010 when we were 4 weeks along that we will have a baby in the next 36 weeks. 252 days is a long long time to wait... and 5 days past that, with all the discomforts of an ever increasing stomach size & other pregnancy symptoms, makes for wishing that we can just meet her already!!!! Days can be miscalculated... babies can need a bit of extra time to be snug in side before greeting the big world. We do not know the reasons behind these things, but it doesn't make waiting any easier - hoping that at any moment things will at least start any less desperate - wondering how things will go when things do kick into action any less concerning.

Goodbye 1 September.... almost hello to 2 September: who knows what you may bring????


How your baby's growing:
It's hard to say for sure how big your baby will be, but the average newborn weighs about 3.4kg (a small pumpkin) and is about 50 cm long. Her skull bones are not yet fused, which allows them to overlap a bit if it's a snug fit through the birth canal during labor. This so-called "molding" is the reason your baby's noggin may look a little conehead-ish after birth. Rest assured — it's normal and temporary.

How your life's changing:
After months of anticipation, your due date rolls around, and... you're still pregnant. It's a frustrating, but common, situation in which to find yourself. You may not be as late as you think, especially if you're relying solely on a due date calculated from the day of your last period because sometimes women ovulate later than expected. Even with reliable dating, some women have prolonged pregnancies for no apparent reason.

You still have a couple of weeks before you'll be considered "post-term." But to be sure your baby is still thriving, your practitioner will schedule you for testing to keep an eye on her if your pregnancy continues. You may have a biophysical profile (BPP), which consists of an ultrasound to look at your baby's overall movements, breathing movements (movement of her chest muscles and diaphragm), and muscle tone (whether she opens and closes her hand or extends and then flexes her limbs), as well as the amount of amniotic fluid that surrounds her (important because it's a reflection of how well the placenta is supporting your baby). Fetal heart rate monitoring (called a nonstress test or NST) will generally be done as well — by itself or as part of the BPP. Or, you may have what's known as a modified BPP, which consists of an NST and an ultrasound to assess the amount of amniotic fluid. If the fetal testing isn't reassuring — the amniotic fluid level is too low, for example — you'll be induced. If there's a serious, urgent problem, you may have an immediate c-section. Your practitioner will also check your cervix to see if it's "ripening." Its position, how soft it is, how effaced (thinned out) it is, and how dilated (open) it is can all affect when and how your labor is induced. If you don't go into labor on your own, you'll be induced, usually sometime between 41 and 42 weeks.

39 Weeks...

I had a great and productive week this last week...  I went to get fabric for the nursery - for the blind, bumper & lampshade cover - and I also worked on the blinds for the house & various other bits for our little girl's arrival between going to the hairdresser (so glad I went!) & doing other non-work related things.... like visiting T'Neal and Geoff and I going for a long overdue photoshoot which I got for Geoff as his birthday present last November! :)

I sewed all day on Saturday & on Sunday headed off to The One And Only for High Tea (oh my - so much cake!) in order to spoil Aline - a 'girlie' event to pamper her a little before little Aerin's arrival (in 5 or so weeks time)... Her official baby shower is on Saturday but I may not make it if I'm in the hospital / at home with my baby! :)

I had a fantastic meeting with my midwife, Sandy, on Thursday last week where I gave her our birth plan & we discussed various things relating to "THE DAY" - which seems to be moving ever so fast and swiftly closer!!!! She said that she doesn't need to see me this week & that if I do, it will be for the birth (!!!!) ...otherwise I will see Sandy on Monday (the 29th)....and I'll see Dr.Nel right in the beginning of September if no baby has arrived yet.

My hormones are doing crazy things & I have to really watch myself - calm down - take deep breaths & get things done one thing at a time. On top of being super sensitive and emotional, at this point it is hard not to feel rather overwhelmed by what may lie ahead... WHEN the big moment of starting labour may occur...? How it will feel to have her OUT rather than IN... We love her so much already, but how long it will take for us to become irrevocably smitten with her in her hold-able-in-our-arms human form? ...How sore will it be? ...Am I ready for all of this change? I can only trust that she will arrive in her own time - hopefully on the day of her choosing - and that we will somehow feel ready when the time comes to welcome her.

She's moving around quite a bit, but I can sense that she's running out of the little bit of room that she still has left... I've been feeling quite energetic again this week, but with moments of collapse which can occur at any moment.

Geoff made me laugh so hard yesterday morning:
He put his face to my tummy & said in a deep voice: "Good Morning Stella"
..and then in a squeaky voice: "Good Morning Daddy"
Geoff deep voice: "What are you doing today, Stella?"
Geoff squeaky voice: "Well, first I'm having my amniotic breakfast..." :)

Besides the house to-do list that Geoff and I have set up for the next few days:

Things to do:

• Finish Birth Plan - DONE
• Collect Birth Ball - DONE
• Buy Nappies - ASAP!!
• Make Roman Blind for the Nursery - ALMOST DONE
• Read pregnancy books
• Practice Relaxations & Visualisations
• Do my Tax - HALF DONE! 
• PACK MY HOSPITAL BAG!!!!

Baby Center Says:
Your baby's waiting to greet the world! She continues to build a layer of fat to help control her body temperature after birth, but it's likely she already measures about 50cm and weighs a bit over 3.2 kg, a mini watermelon. (Boys tend to be slightly heavier than girls.) The outer layers of his skin are sloughing off as new skin forms underneath.

How your life's changing:
At each of your now-weekly visits, your caregiver will do an abdominal exam to check your baby's growth and position. She might also do an internal exam to see whether your cervix has started ripening: softening, effacing (thinning out), and dilating (opening). But even armed with this information, there's still no way for your caregiver to predict exactly when your baby is coming. If you go past your due date, your caregiver will schedule you for fetal testing (usually a sonogram) after 40 weeks to ensure that it's safe to continue the pregnancy. If you don't go into labor on your own, most practitioners will induce labor when you're between one and two weeks overdue — or sooner if there's an indication that the risk of waiting is greater than the risks of delivering your baby without further delay. While you're waiting, it's important to continue to pay attention to your baby's movements and let your caregiver know right away if they seem to decrease. Your baby should remain active right up to delivery, and a noticeable slowdown in activity could be a sign of a problem. Also call if you think your water may have broken. Membranes rupture before the beginning of labor in about 8 percent of term pregnancies. Sometimes there's a big gush of fluid, but sometimes there's only a small gush or a slow leak. (Don't try to make the diagnosis yourself. Call even if you only suspect you have a leak.) If you rupture your membranes and don't start contractions on your own, you'll be induced.